


Reach Out and Touch

by celeste9



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 16:16:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6122172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Rey seeks a solution to the feeling of powerlessness her nightmares give her, Finn suggests she talk to Poe. The problem is that Rey doesn't trust Poe. Not yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reach Out and Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently I really like the idea of Rey and Poe bonding over bad dreams. Sorry, guys! Not sorry for my OTP Poe/his X-wing, though. :D Also I was supposed to save this for my 300th fic posted to AO3 and post another fandom stocking fic first, but then I finished this too quickly and I am impatient. Oops.

Rey dreamed of Kylo Ren.

She dreamed of a forest, and of snow, and of a dark figure that haunted her. She dreamed of Finn, lying still on the ground. She dreamed of fighting, of falling, of dying, of failing, of losing everyone she cared about. Her body frozen in place, blood on the snow, the smell of cauterized flesh.

She dreamed again and again of that red lightsaber protruding through Han Solo’s back, watched him fall, fall until he was gone, gone, gone. She saw herself as she had been then, powerless to do anything.

Rey didn’t like feeling powerless. She didn’t like feeling helpless. She had spent her entire life learning how not to be, how to take care of herself, how to survive in a world that destroyed the weak.

Rey would never be helpless again.

“Tell me how to stop having dreams,” Rey said to Luke at the conclusion of their training session.

His gaze was sharp and curious. “Have you been having visions?”

“No, not… Just bad dreams.”

“Oh, I see.” Now Luke only looked concerned. It wasn’t pity, not exactly, but Rey disliked it all the same.

Pity wasn’t what she was here for. “Teach me how to make them stop.”

“I can’t do that, Rey.”

“Why not?”

“It doesn’t work like that. I can show you how to control your emotions, how to clear your mind, how to open yourself to the Force… But the only one who can get past your trauma is you.”

“Well, that’s stupid,” Rey said, frustrated. “What good is the Force if it can’t even get rid of my nightmares?”

Luke’s gaze was wry. “I used to wonder that myself.”

Surprised, Rey asked, “You have bad dreams, too?” Somehow it seemed odd that Luke Skywalker of all people should suffer from nightmares the same as the rest of them.

“Of course.”

“Then what do you do about them?”

“I meditate.”

Rey sighed. She should have known that would be his answer.

“And sometimes I talk to my sister,” Luke added, more gently.

“Not all of us have a sister,” Rey said, and walked out.

-

Rey didn’t have a sister, but after she left Luke she considered that she had family all the same. She had the family she’d made for herself.

“I’m not sure I can dream anymore,” Finn said as they sat together in his quarters. “They used to give us things, meds, suppressants, that sort of thing. I can’t remember the last time I dreamed.”

“You’re lucky.”

“Maybe. But I don’t have nice dreams, either.”

Rey sighed. “Me, neither.”

“This is really bothering you, isn’t it?”

“It makes me feel weak,” Rey admitted, because Finn was maybe the only person she could say that to. “Like I can’t… Like I don’t have control over myself.”

Finn touched the back of Rey’s hand. “I might not be able to understand, but you know you can always talk to me anyway, don’t you, Rey? I’ll always listen.”

Rey offered him a smile. “I know.”

“But if you want… You know who might help you? Poe. You should talk to Poe.”

“Poe?”

“Poe was a prisoner on the _Finalizer._ ”

Rey suddenly felt very stupid. “Of course.”

“He doesn’t talk about it. But I know he wakes up from nightmares sometimes.”

“I don’t see how--”

“He’ll understand, Rey. Probably better than I can.”

Rey knew why Finn was suggesting this. It made sense. But Finn was her family; Poe wasn’t. Poe was _Finn’s_ family, but he wasn’t hers. Poe was just a decent guy she didn’t mind talking to sometimes; he was just a really good pilot who shared her love of ships and flying. Rey couldn’t talk to him about this. She couldn’t.

“Poe’s not going to judge you,” Finn said, like he knew what Rey was thinking.

“I’m not… Poe’s not… He’s not like you.”

“That’s kind of the point, isn’t it?” Finn said, and Rey didn’t have an answer.

Finn was so… open in a way that Rey could never be. She admired that about him. He had bonded immediately with Poe, had let him in, and Rey just… She didn’t know how to do that.

“I’m not going to tell you what to do,” Finn said. “But Poe wants to be your friend. Maybe you should let him.”

Rey looked away. Was the possibility of Poe being able to help her regain some sense of control over her mind worth allowing him to see that she’d lost it in the first place?

-

Rey found Poe by his X-wing, a panel open and a greasy towel in his hand. He was laughing, his hair in his face, saying something to BB-8. He saw Rey coming and lifted his hand in a wave. “Hi, Rey. Finn’s been trying to teach Beebee-Ate jokes; they’re terrible.”

BB-8 began protesting but Poe said, “No, listen, buddy, they’re terrible. I don’t know if it’s all getting lost in translation or if Finn’s jokes really are that bad, but they’re _terrible._ ”

Truthfully Rey was well aware that Finn’s jokes were awful. Still, though. “You did laugh,” Rey pointed out, to which BB-8 chirped triumphantly.

“Okay, okay, you win,” Poe said, still laughing a little. “What can I do for you, Rey?”

Rey suddenly experienced a wave of anxiety and her reasoning for approaching Poe was making her feel embarrassed. What had she been thinking? How could she tell Poe about any of it? Instead she said, “Having trouble with your ship?”

“Nah,” Poe said, lovingly stroking the metal of his X-wing in a manner Rey was fairly certain half the Resistance would be jealous of. “She’s been flying perfectly; I just like to tinker with her a bit. Make sure everything’s clean and running smoothly, you know.”

“Ah, yes, I’d forgotten your T-70 is your true love,” Rey teased.

“Don’t listen to her, baby, she doesn’t understand us,” Poe whispered to the ship.

Rey giggled and Poe smiled at her. “Want to help?”

“Such an honor,” Rey said, taking the wire brush he offered her, though she actually was a bit touched. Poe didn’t let just anyone mess about with his ship.

They worked in companionable silence for a while. Well, mostly silence. BB-8 almost constantly babbled to himself and Poe was humming, nothing that Rey recognized. It was nice. Rey still felt as though Poe was more Finn’s friend than hers and it made her feel awkward around him, like she didn’t know what to say to him, but he was always so kind and friendly and unassuming that it put her more at ease.

“I’ve been having nightmares,” she blurted out.

Well, damn.

Poe stopped what he was doing and looked at her, concerned. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not… I mean, I’ve had nightmares before? But I’m having… er… Kylo Ren is in them.” Rey glanced down, not wanting to look Poe in the face.

“Oh,” Poe said softly. “That makes sense.”

Rey’s head snapped up. “I’m not afraid of him.”

“I never said you were.” Poe moved closer to Rey, reaching out with his hand to gently tug the wire brush she was clutching until she released it. “Do you want…” Poe stopped, watching her, and then started again. “How can I help you, Rey?”

There was no use trying to hedge around it now. “Ren, he… he was in your head, too.”

“I remember.”

“How do you--” Rey stopped, biting her lip.

Evidently Poe didn’t need her to finish in order to know what she was asking. “Mostly I try not to think about it.”

“Does that help?”

“Not really.”

Well, he was honest, anyway.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I go around all the time thinking, oh, poor me, got tortured by Kylo Ren, boo hoo.”

Rey laughed a little bit, startled, just trying to imagine Poe doing such a thing. The image didn’t quite mesh.

Smiling that easy smile of his, Poe said, “There’s enough to do to keep me busy, you know? There’s enough to concentrate on. If I spent all my time thinking about the bad things that have happened I’d never get anything done, right?”

Rey nodded, as it seemed like that was what Poe was looking for. Anyway she thought that was true of everyone here. They all had bad things in their past, bad things that both fueled them and needed to be pushed aside.

Her nightmares needed to be pushed aside.

She needed to be in control.

“You know what does help?” Poe spread his arms. “This. Everything we do here. Every single thing I do for the Resistance is like punching the smug son of a bitch right in the nose. Or at least, I imagine he’s smug. Hard to tell with the mask and all.”

Rey considered. “He was pretty smug.”

“There you go, then.”

She touched her hand to Poe’s X-wing, focusing on the paint. Was that enough? Was that all? She would just continue to help the Resistance and train as a Jedi and tell herself that was enough? The next time she awoke in the middle of the night feeling helpless, could she simply remind herself of her mission and forget the rest?

Poe asked, “Do you want to talk about it? It might help. It helps some people, anyway. To process it, I guess.”

 _Blood on the snow, the red lightsaber through Han’s back…_ “Not really,” Rey said, then internally winced as she realized Poe might take that the wrong way. She didn’t want him to think she was rejecting him personally.

Thankfully he didn’t seem to think that. “That’s okay, too. To be honest I don’t much like talking about mine. It only makes me feel…” Poe hesitated. “Makes me remember how bad I felt. Like I’d failed everyone. Like I was… helpless. Couldn’t get out, couldn’t complete my mission, couldn’t stop them, couldn’t help my friends.”

Rey stared at him, almost feeling as though she was seeing him in a new light. As though part of him was a reflection of herself. “I know what you mean.”

“I imagine you do. That’s the worst part, don’t you think? The powerlessness, the sense of failure. Worse than the pain.” Poe almost seemed to shake himself a little, like he was shrugging off the memories. “But that’s why being here helps me. Because I’m not powerless. And neither are you.”

Logically, Rey knew that. She had beaten Kylo Ren. They had struck a tremendous blow against the First Order. Luke was training her to be stronger than she ever could have imagined. She knew she wasn’t powerless; she knew she was part of something important.

The problem was that it was hard to remember that when she was asleep.

“I just wish I could shut off my brain,” Rey said.

“Do you have trouble sleeping?”

“A bit. Especially, um, afterwards.”

“Yeah, I get it. You know, if you ever wanted to, you could come find me? I mean, if you can’t sleep. If you want someone to… I don’t know.” Poe awkwardly ran a hand through his hair. “Maybe you’d rather be alone. But if you didn’t, I’m always here. If you want. Sometimes it helps me to not be alone. But that’s just me. Damn it,” he said under his breath.

“Thank you,” Rey said, trying to put him out of his misery. She thought maybe she was blushing herself.

“All I meant is that you can always come to me,” Poe tried again, his tone so sincere. “I hope you think of me as your friend, Rey. I know I think of you as mine.”

On Jakku, Rey’s world had been small. Too small. Since Finn had come barreling into her life, her world had expanded so quickly she could still barely wrap her head around it. She had been introduced to so many new places and experiences and, especially, new people. People who cared about her, who worried about her.

Rey realized that her world was still expanding, and that wasn’t a bad thing.

She offered her hand to Poe to clasp, who did, his gaze warm. BB-8 beeped happily from several feet away, below the X-wing.

“I do,” Rey said.

Maybe Poe could be her family, too, after all.

**_End_ **


End file.
